Wicke and I change a tire in the

sand... this REALLY SUCKS!

TOP PICTURE: Lt Albaugh,

Wicke and I, headed back to

Kuwait after months in the

Iraqi desert! Bottom Pic:

Wicke and me pose on the

hood of our Command post

post truck.

After spending many weeks of total boredom in the Iraqi desert, just waiting for the ok to go the hell HOME, we were FINALLY given the go-ahead to load up and head back to Kuwait, to begin the process for Re-Deployment back to the U.S.

None of us got too excited about actually going HOME at this point. I'm not sure why. Maybe because we were just too used to the military way of good things going bad at the last minute, and the 'hurry up and wait' process, so we were prepared to just have a better life at Camp Doha where there was REAL food, tents, laundry facilities, and PHONES!!!

All of us were thrilled to be just DOING something and GOING somewhere! It took no time at all to break down or site, load up and head out. Lt Albaugh, Wicke and I were in the back of a Humm-V for a change. Usualy, Wicke or I were driving the commander and XO, but both of our trucks were down for repairs so we got a free ride into Kuwait, which was a nice change! We all sang the entire trip in! We took turns trying to remember all the words to our favorite songs,oldies, country, etc. We'd make stuff up when we'd forget. It had been MONTHS since we'd actually HEARD any music since every one's batteries had long since gone dead.

All I wanted was a HOT SHOWER and some french fries.. ohh and a COLD PEPSI! we were all salivating over the thought of being totally CLEAN for the first time in over 100 days!

Not having a shower in that long was a huge thing. we had put up make shift showers, where we'd pour a few gallons of water in it, and let it drizzle out on us through a hose. (Even THAT had taken us over 2 months to get! Before that it was just 'hit the hot spots with baby wipes)

As we pulled into Camp Doha, I think we all felt like going a little nuts! We all took showers, did some laundry and ate a HUGE meal! Our tents had these HUGE industrial size fans in them, actual WOOD flooring, and lots of space compared to how we had been living. It was really freaking spectacular!

There was a movie theater, a small P.X, fast food chains, but dang it, everyone was out of ice. we were still in heaven though!!!!

within 24hours we all felt like shit. Thank GOD the port-a-johns were directly behind our tents!! Having real food hit our systems like a freight train!! I spent more time running for the shitter than I did enjoying the damn food! But I sure did enjoy the food!!

A few weeks later we had the inspectors come to check our bags, and loaded them up onto trucks. We took all our equipment, trucks and such to the wash racks and loaded them for the ship to head for home, but still we didn't really feel like WE were going home.

The temperature was still about 130 degrees during the day and 100 at night. It was better where we were, but still not home. We had plenty of time to call home, but many of us didn't call much. There wasn't anything to SAY. We didn't know when we were coming home, we didn't have any news... and it hurt to talk to our family. It was easier to just not do it. Maybe it doesn't make sense, but even I avoided calling my kids. They always cried because I couldn't tell them when mama was coming home.

When the day came that we were actually going to load up on the buses to go home, there was no excitement. The night before I had nightmares that we were just about to climb the steps to the plane,then my commander told us we had to get off the plane because we had new orders to go back into Iraq. It felt so real, that I totally expected it. I think everyone else did to.

We got onto small buses with black curtains on the windows that would take us to Saddam Husein International airport. We were told not to look out the windows for safety sake. We all just chatted and joked like usual, like it was just another day. We arrived at the airport which had been turned into a makeshift PX in parts, but our buses let us out on the runway where a HUGE airplane awaited us. The pilot, co-pilot and all the flight attendants were standing by the flight of steps waiting to welcome us. As we marched up to the plane, they began to cheer, waving tiny flags, jumping up and down, yelling "YOU'RE GOING HOOOME!!"

We filed onto the plane, now beginning to get a little more excited. I sat by Lt. Albaugh, and both of us were ear to ear with huge smiles at the way the plane was decorated! They had signs up saying 'Welcome Home!' and 'Thank You Soldiers!' and ' Way to go USA' We ended up sitting in FIRST CLASS!! the seats were the most comfortable EVER! we played with them as we waited for take off. They reclined back all the way, so they were like BEDS! we had little t.v.'s in front of each chair. TELEVISION!!!! YIPPEEE!!

The pilot came on over the loud speakers and gave us a speech that I barely remember. He told us he and his flight crew were really proud of us and proud to be taking us all HOME! that's when the chills crept up my spine. Maybe it was going to happen? He told us all that the flight would last 24 hours and where the layovers would be and what the weather was like.. NOT AS HOT AS IRAQ!!!

He said 'ok troops, are you all ready to gooooo HOOOOOME???'

The engines rumbled, the plane shook as we moved down the runway, My heart sped up, Lt. Albaugh looked over at me, her face mirrored what I felt.... she was ear to ear grinning!! we grabbed each other's hands and I whispered 'holy shit LT, is it really happening? are we for REAL fucking going HOME?" She gulped and nodded. I don't think she could talk.

The plane lurched and lept into the air, and we all simply ERUPTED into cheers! Screaming, yelling, shouting... WE WERE GOING HOME!!!

ok I'll admit it, I cried. I think most everyone else did too. At least a little bit. Tears of happiness, excitement, joy, and being totally overwhelmed by it actually happening.

A little while later, the flight attendants came around with snacks, and they got some of the guys dressed up in makeup, scarves, jewelry and aprons! They had them hand out the snacks and drinks! We were all cracking up, just really enjoying something FUN for a change!

I went into the bathroom and almost died laughing. There was a small sign over the toilet that read "Flush over Iraq, or Hollywood"

We slept a lot on the way home, but awoke when the pilot announced that we were over El Paso. I looked out the window at the brown desert, and just stared we were home.

We got the news of the ambush on the 507th several days after it happened. Nobody knew if there were deaths, p.o.w.'s or mia's. for sure, We just knew there were some or all of the above. We KNEW these soldiers. They shared our barracks back home and were our maintenance company. During this deployment we weren't attached to each other, but suddenly war was oh so very real to us all. This had hit us all very hard.



We talked amongst ourselves about who we knew, wondering if they were ok or who was alive pr not. Eventually news came down that some were ok, but there were several M.I.A's ( missing in action) ...some thought to be dead and others who were P.O.W's. I was more terrified then, than at any other point of the entire war. What wold these people DO to our brothers and sisters? Especially to the women. My boys became more protective of me.. Always making sure my weapon was clean and I remembered the hand to hand combat techniques we'd been taught by our infantry boys.



My Chris was especially worried, and one morning, not long after the 507th ambush, we prepared to roll through a small town that was said to be especially hostile. Chris came to my truck to see me. We were about to leave, and I was siting there in silence, just thinking about what might lie ahead.. He is a calm, quiet man, and his voice was intense as he told me what to do. "Babe, if things go wrong, I want you to listen tome ok?" I could only nod "keep the truck running as long as possible, and shot anything or run over anything and anyone that gets in your way. If your truck is disabled get out and run. Baby, don't let them take you alive. Fire 3 shots then take off running in another direction for 100 seconds. Fir anther 3 rounds and take off in another direction. That way they can't find you by your gunfire. Keep shooting and running until you get away From the town or where the fighting is. IF you run into anyone, use your weapon as a club, use your bayonet, and use your fists, feet, teeth if you have to." He had me by the arm, squeezing me tightly. I stared at his face, so full of emotion, ans something I'd never seen before. I think w were both scared this would be the last time we would ever see each other alive. "don't let them take you prisoner. You use those last rounds if you have to."



I had put 3 spare rounds in my pocket several days before. The rounds went into my pocket as a preventative measure in case I got caught up in a battle and used up all my ammunition without realizing it, and had none left to use on myself. It was my intention not to be taken P.O.W. I would take out as many as I could, but I would take my own self out if it came down to that.



"Be careful" he whispered "I love you and I WILL see you soon." I choked out "I love you too" and grabbed him by his flack vest and kissed him quickly. I couldn't have given a shit less who saw us at that point. "take care of yourself" I yelled as he walked away into the early morning darkness.



I became someone else that day. I was totally prepared to kill. I knew I could pull that trigger and take down anyone no matter if it was a an, woman or child.. I shut off all my emotions and just scanned my sector, looking for any movement.. We saw burning buildings, and even a few dead bodies in burning trucks. All was quiet ad dark. I was so eerie. So totally quiet. No movement, no sounds... nothing. I don't think I breathed the whole time our convoy rolled through the town. We made it through and we all felt a sense of relief and the tension was lifted for a while as the sun came up. That was one of the most glorious sunrises I'd ever seen. It seemed to be a celebration of life with all its fiery colors and the way it set the whole, huge sky i=on fire. The joy of being alive lasted only a little while, then it was back on the road fora long convoy.



Several days later we got the news of the 507th. I heard it in the command post and took the long walk to my platoon to deliver the sad news. "we just got word on the 507th" I said. Everyone gathered around, asking questions. By the look on my face, they quieted down quickly. "there are confirmed P.O.W's We know they are Miller, Johnson, and Lynch. "faces fell as I told them "there have also been confirmed KIA's.. Kiel and 'Pie'. We still don't know about the others." 'your sure 'Pie' is dead?" came the question. that's when a tear slipped out "yeah I whispered. 'She's gone' We all stood there in silence as I dried y eyes. All I could think about was that she had probably promised her 2 kids she would be coming home. I cried quietly as sgt Masce came and hugged me. I walked off to be alone, and to get a grip on myself. I decided I would just deal with it later, once I was safely home. I couldn't afford to let my fear or sadness rule me. It just wasn't part of my life at that time. I had to put it away, so I did. Much later after I was home I shed many tears for my friends and even those I didn't know too well. It could have easily been us. I felt guilty for coming home and for being happy. Those feelings still creep up on me when I least expect it. I want to do something ;for those who dies. But what do you do? How can I tell their families ho sorry I am that they lost their soldier? How do you convey what you feel? maybe I will find a way through this book. If I Can keep their memories alive in a way, then maybe it will help ease the ache someone feels for them.